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Here you will find poetry, opinion and prose mixed together in roughly equal measure. Add one man available from specialist suppliers only. Stick everything into a blender for five minutes. Stir gently with a wooden spoon, then pour slowly into tall glasses with crushed ice.

No cherries. No little parasols. No curly straws. Let the drink speak for itself.

I try to be open about the Catholic Church having some good people in it, because it surely must, but it’s really a nest of evil when all’s said and done. A Vatican official has spewed out the usual hatred, saying homosexuals are to blame for the paedophile infestation within the Church. Yes, that’s right—the old chestnut, although last week it was the Jews to blame. It isn’t that they can’t grasp the fact that grown adults who are healthy fancy other grown adults, whether they’re gay, straight or bisexual, and this means children, who are not adults, are not [...]

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