MEPs want to feed pigs to chickens - so let’s do all we can to stop it happening

Members of the European Parliament recently voted against transparency, choosing not to reveal to the unwashed masses how much they all claim back in so-called expenses. The system is believed to be widely and obscenely abused, but we’ll never know. We’re asked to trust these people. But hold on! There might be a reason for this madness.

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

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A man who chose 'Lloyds is pants' as his telephone banking password found it changed to 'no it's not' by a Lloyds TSB member of staff. His alternative proposals of 'Lloyds is rubbish', 'Barclays is better' and 'censorship' were all refused. The man is still trying to find a password acceptable to the bank, although it has apologised. Could the bank look any more pathetic right now?

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Eighteen sailors aboard a Royal Navy warship have tested positive for cocaine. All the world is said to love a sailor, but I've personally never found large nostrils (or an interest in cocaine) attractive in any man, even if he wears a lovely uniform!

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