“We don’t give a shit about chickens,” say Tesco shareholders, “now give us all your money!”

It shouldn’t really come as a surprise that Tesco shareholders yesterday chose to reject Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s call for the company to adopt new and compassionate standards for rearing birds. They ignored the moral and ethical arguments in favour of what they presumably thought was the best way to keep the money rolling in. The fact that less than 10 per cent of the shareholders voted in favour of change simply goes to show that they’re a callous bunch of bastards who care about very little other than money. And let’s face it—Tesco does make them an awful lot of money, at least for the time being. But times change, and anyone with a conscience should now boycott the store chain and shop elsewhere.

Saturday, June 28th, 2008

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A man who chose 'Lloyds is pants' as his telephone banking password found it changed to 'no it's not' by a Lloyds TSB member of staff. His alternative proposals of 'Lloyds is rubbish', 'Barclays is better' and 'censorship' were all refused. The man is still trying to find a password acceptable to the bank, although it has apologised. Could the bank look any more pathetic right now?

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Eighteen sailors aboard a Royal Navy warship have tested positive for cocaine. All the world is said to love a sailor, but I've personally never found large nostrils (or an interest in cocaine) attractive in any man, even if he wears a lovely uniform!

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