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Here you will find poetry, opinion and prose mixed together in roughly equal measure. Add one man available from specialist suppliers only. Stick everything into a blender for five minutes. Stir gently with a wooden spoon, then pour slowly into tall glasses with crushed ice.

No cherries. No little parasols. No curly straws. Let the drink speak for itself.

If I had as much passion for onions, peppers and potatoes as some meat-eaters have for bacon, chicken and beef, and was as upset and angry about not getting carrots every day as meaties can be about the suggestion that eating meat five days a week is good for no-one and bad for the planet, I’d be worried my priorities were all wrong. Because they would be. Food is essential, obviously, and I don’t want to get into the argument over whether killing animals is inherently wrong here, but it irks me when gobby meat evangelists spew forth accusations against [...]

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