One hand giveth, the other taketh away
Yesterday’s announcement from the government of a £910m package of measures aimed at helping people with soaring gas and electricity bills was deeply disappointing and deceptive. The cash spree is paraded as being brought about through the willing collaboration of the energy companies. Well of course they wanted to help, because they read the news same as anyone and are well aware of the growing clamour for their obscene profits to be forcefully removed and redirected by the government to the estimated quarter of the population about to fall into fuel poverty.
tags: big business, Conservatives, electricity, energy bills, fossil fuels, gas, Labour, politicsTesco unveils plan to intensively farm new customers
Tesco has announced plans to start intensively farming new customers on specially-neglected sink estates, in its long-running bid to take over the known universe and expand its customer base by any means necessary. “Tesco believes everybody should have access to cheap food, even cheap people, and morals be damned,” said a spokesperson. “To that end, we have begun a cloning program to produce a new breed of customers who never question, and avidly consume anything we throw their way.”
The sink estates will house thousands of people, with around ten adults and at least as many children living in each one-bedroom flat with no windows and no ventilation. No toilet facilities will be provided, as one way of keeping production costs down, and instead of carpets or other conventional floor coverings the mega-corporation will use sawdust to soak up the shit, piss, and tears of despair.
tags: animal cruelty, battery hens, big business, broiler hens, Chicken Out campaign, ethics, humour, intensive farming, morality, spoof, Tesco
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