The sour joke that is Disability Living Allowance


I’ve had a letter rejecting me for all components of Disability Living Allowance. I now have to go back to see the nice chap at the Citizens Advice Bureau, and lodge an appeal. Again, the premise outlined in the letter seems to be that you only get it if you have no arms, no legs, cannot feed yourself, clothe yourself, or anything else. Not having a head is also helpful. People in comas on life support can’t apply, so I guess this approach saves a lot of money that can be better spent on blowing up Iraqi civilians.

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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

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Email to my bank, sent today


Dear Sir or Madam,

Unfortunately you’ve had a merry old time of late, once again taking the majority of my disability benefits in extortionate charges for failed direct debits, and payments made to third parties going out late and taking me over the overdraft you’ve allocated to me.

This has to stop. I have previously taken you nearly all the way to the county court to get a substantial figure in recovered charges back from you, and was successful in getting the vast majority of monies back when you reached agreement with me at the eleventh hour.
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Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

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