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A man who chose 'Lloyds is pants' as his telephone banking password found it changed to 'no it's not' by a Lloyds TSB member of staff. His alternative proposals of 'Lloyds is rubbish', 'Barclays is better' and 'censorship' were all refused. The man is still trying to find a password acceptable to the bank, although it has apologised. Could the bank look any more pathetic right now?

Eighteen sailors aboard a Royal Navy warship have tested positive for cocaine. All the world is said to love a sailor, but I've personally never found large nostrils (or an interest in cocaine) attractive in any man, even if he wears a lovely uniform!