I am the tick
and the tock

I am the wall
that talks

I am the bird
of intellect and daring

I am the crime
of the curtains

I am the washing machine

I am the stairs
inviting me to bed

I am the empty phone
I am the dry old bone
I am the villain
in my underground base

I am a cat
one of several, in fact

I am a table seating four
with three vacancies

I am the fifteenth doughnut
the much-loved repeat
I am the series
you watch in one sitting

I am the hangman’s noose
I am the revealed bloodstain
I am the victor in a battle
but am losing the war

I am the innocent
and I am the cretin.