What are YOUR predictions for 2010?

You don’t have to be in possession of a crystal ball or animal entrails to have a go at predicting what’s going to happen in the year ahead. This is just for fun. The newspapers and television shows will be full of predictions over the next few days, so why not get in on the act?

I’m going to limit my oracular pronouncements to just five, and would ask you to do the same if you feel at all inclined to add your own in the comments section below. You’re more than welcome to do so, and we’ll see how many people agree or disagree with you.

If you don’t feel able to manage five but believe just one is a sure-fire bet, that’s okay. Post it regardless, so that we can either nod sagely in agreement or fire up a few lines in contradiction. You can be serious in your predictions or not at all.

Without further ado, here are my predictions for 2010…

1. A minority Tory government will be formed after the General Election in April with the support of the Liberal Democrats until Cameron and his chums try to actually do anything, at which point the Tory-Lib pact will fall apart and the Queen will be asked to dissolve Parliament twice in one year. Like Victoria before her, she will not be amused. Nobody else will care because voter turn-out will be around the three per cent mark.

2. Apple will release the iSlate because the media won’t shut up about it until it happens. It will be so expensive and elitist that the cost of reading your favourite newspaper on the touchscreen tablet will work out at around £5.57 per day. That’s if you can afford to put down the 80 per cent deposit on the mortgage you’ll need to carry one of the devices around until somebody mugs you for it.

3. Microsoft will start work on the Corporate Reading Enabler, its fashionably-named (as ever) answer to the Apple iSlate. It will be available in three colours: vomit yellow, algae green and Tupperware blue. Someone in Texas might buy one, nobody else will.

4. Archaeologists will announce a new theory as to what Stonehenge is. They will no longer think it was a hospital but will say that new evidence suggests it is, and always has been, a lot of large rocks arranged into a circle.

5. 2010 will be like 2009 only with more bad weather and a lot less money.

Over to you!