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Here you will find poetry, opinion and prose mixed together in roughly equal measure. Add one man available from specialist suppliers only. Stick everything into a blender for five minutes. Stir gently with a wooden spoon, then pour slowly into tall glasses with crushed ice.

No cherries. No little parasols. No curly straws. Let the drink speak for itself.

No, it’s not some old saying—it’s the sound I heard coming from the garage around 8am today, as Mulder our four-winged 22-week-old French Blue Wheaten Marans decided to let rip for a few minutes from under his cover inside the cat-carrier he sleeps in at night to avoid any noise disturbing the neighbours. Although he crows at reasonable hours every now and again, this is the first time Mulder has cock-a-doodled indoors with all the restraint measures in place. I think he crowed because he could hear the hens kicking off royally outside, demanding their morning feed. It’s upsetting because [...]

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