Amazon slays with triplicate Buffy book delivery

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV series)
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I was trying to print out a label for return of goods to Amazon today, but none of the options appearing on screen fitted the situation. I ordered ONE copy of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer graphic novel, and THREE turned up, all of them charged to my card. I accept mistakes are sometimes made by customers but there’s no way I’d have ordered three copies. I don’t need three copies, I don’t want three copies. All I did was add the book to my shopping basket. That was it. No second or third click, no manual entering of additional copies, nothing.

Not unreasonably I believe I shouldn’t be expected to pay for the return of two of these books. However, life in the modern age is never easy and rarely when hard do we find it benefits the consumer. Amazon’s step-by-step guide for returns directs me to one of two pages, depending on which drop-down reason for return I try to use (none fit the bill precisely as none acknowledge the possibility of the system being in error, only the customer). One page tells me I can use one of the company’s print-off-yourself return labels, sure, but I’ll have to pay for the postage out of my refund. The other page offers only a replacement, no refund. I want a freekin’ refund. My money was taken without my permission, okay?

Goods NOT ORDERED but PAID FOR are not listed as a reason for return on the drop-down menu.  This must mean, in Amazon’s world, it cannot happen. Ever. The system, like the Matrix, is a perfect enclosed entity that gets things right more often than Jesus. However, it’s interesting to note that one listed reason for return is if goods were not ordered, and NOT paid for, BUT turned up alongside your order.

So, if you find yourself paying for books you didn’t order, Amazon doesn’t want to know judging from the pages I visited this morning. But if you’ve got books you didn’t pay for, send them back as quick as you can, thank you! Why am I not surprised? And of course this has probably happened because the temporary workers being employed right now are having to work long six-day weeks under constant pressure. Human error, though, or system error, who can say for sure?

I’m awaiting a reply to my email about the situation. Hopefully Amazon will see sense and sort this out quickly. You never know. Stranger things have happened. Alternatively, they can make things difficult and invoke my wrath. Whatever.

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