The Eastern European Eurovision Song Contest

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

I didn’t watch the Eurovision Song Contest last night for three reasons: one, the BBC chose not to air Doctor Who this week to make way for it—and has been playing fast-and-loose with its greatest asset throughout this year’s fourth series already in terms of scheduling—and two, because the songs get worse every year. But my third reason is because Eurovision has become a political battleground in which the new gang of Eastern European states consistently club together and have now ensured that no Western European nation is likely to ever win the competition again.

Sour grapes? Not at all. I don’t have sufficient feeling on the subject, and our own entry deserved to rank near the bottom of the pile but we certainly didn’t deserve to come last for the second time in a row. But I believe these new boys and girls simply don’t get what Eurovision is supposed to be about. They don’t know how to compete fairly. They only know how to curry favour, and seem to work hard to please their neighbours in the hope they won’t invade them.

It’s got so bad that Eurovision stalwart Terry Wogan, who has graced our screens as commentator for the event since the 1970s, is giving serious thought to quitting along with his producer. They introduced semi-finals this year, keeping neighbouring states apart in the mix of entrants in the hope of stopping their blatantly political moves. This fact alone should have the Eastern Europeans hanging their heads in shame—the rules were changed solely to force them to behave. Only it didn’t work come the final. They refuse to play nice. They just don’t get it.

“Western European participants have to decide whether they want to take part from here on in because their prospects are poor,” Wogan is reported as saying.

This is no rant on the part of Wogan or myself against any individual nation or, worse, ethnic group; it is, however, a lament shared with many for the friendly fun that used to be Eurovision, and is now gone forever. There were always dodgy songs; there were always hilarious gaffs and gimmicks; but, every country that took part throughout the 70s, 80s, and much of the 90s knew to set aside any differences and have fun in what amounted to an international community-building venture centred on the premise that music respects no borders and can unite people where politics fail to do so.

Can Eurovision be saved? The short answer is no. It’s time the BBC stopped wasting taxpayers’ money on this drivel and for at least one country, hopefully the UK, to have the courage to say, we’ve had enough. No more. Let Eurovision die or mutate, as it already has in all but name, into the Eastern European Eurovision Song Contest. It’s a mouthful but it’s easier to swallow than the tribal sycophancy currently on display.

categories: choons, in the news