Win a poetry collection signed by Spicy!
Yes, folks. I’m wanting to give away to one valued reader a very special prize—well, it’s something very close to my heart, and who knows, if I one day become rich and famous (or maybe just famous), you may have landed yourself something you can sell to pay off the mortgage…
If that doesn’t happen, you’ll at least have a collection of poems. That’s right—you’re being given the chance to win a copy of my ‘best of’ portfolio of poems, signed by yours truly! I’m going to get the poems professionally bound and self-published at some point, most likely through self-publishing site lulu.com, after which the collection will be available to buy through Amazon. But for now I’m offering the raw stuff of poetry in spiral-bound format, printed on high-quality A4 paper.
I can now reveal the collection is dedicated to my beloved, my parents, Belsham, Dolly, and all my friends who attend the Brigantii Moot. Also, my dear departed friend Tony Grundy, who believed in me at a time when I didn’t.
And the title? I can reveal that to you as well. The collection is named after one of the poems you’ll find therein, Google sex mp3 Britney+Spears World+Cup. Intriguing, eh?
The collection runs to 91 pages and includes a huge number and variety of poems, on topics ranging from sex and relationships through to technology, history and mythology through to spirituality. You’ll discover tales of failed actors, pompous politicians mouthing off on TV, alcoholics, insomnia, ghosts, Iraqi women, children raised by a wolf or, perhaps a prostitute… lesbians coming out of the closet on council estates, a pilgrimage to visit a dead poet… contemplation of an air vent in a pub, Death paying an unwelcome visit to a sick child, a murderer stalking his next victim, stories of reincarnated cats and old ladies, a torturer, Daleks, Osama bin Laden and George W Bush competing in sci-fi drag, an ode to the talents of Tori Amos, trips back in time and a story of survival and victory over the horror of rape.
And lots of love poems as well. Lots.
There’s funny poems and poems to make you cry, poems to make you recoil in horror and poems that will make you go all mushy inside. Some are long and involved, others are short but pack a punch. Have I whet your appetite? These are the finest poems I’ve written to date and I’m offering ONE lucky person the chance to own a signed copy of ‘em all.
So what do you have to do? You might well ask… The answer is deceptively simple…
I want you to write a poem. I want you to post the poem to your own blog if you have one (if you don’t, you can skip that requirement… or start blogging!). And I want you to head back here, to this blog entry, and post your entry in the comments section. Yes. Here. See below. That’s right. The comments section. Used it before? You’re gonna have to use it now if you want a chance of winning!
You’ve got a whole month to put your bardic caps on and start waxing lyrical.
The closing date for entries is April 23 2007, at precisely midnight GMT 0–that’s UK time. You can check the clock I’ve installed in the sidebar of any blog entry to see what time it is in the UK.
Here’s the remaining rules, and the ones above to recap:
1. You MUST post your entry to your own blog, if you have one.
2. You MUST post your entry in the comments section of this blog article. If you can’t see the title of this article in the comments section on the front page—you might, if someone has recently posted their entry to the competition—then just use either the Archives page or the Advanced Search and you’ll easily find your way back to where you need to be, which is right here.
3. Your poem can be on any subject, and it can be either free verse or follow a specific form. Don’t know what I mean by form? Start researching! You may want to write, say, a sestina or a villanelle. You may want to produce an Allen Ginsberg-style stream-of-consciousness epic about the Iraq War, or the price of fish, or the crap you saw on TV the other night… Whatever!
4. The only limits are your imagination and anything you allow to get in your way. So deal with those insecurities pronto!
5. Your poem must be AT LEAST 20 lines, preferably 30 lines long. No, I’m not allowing you to count the breaks between stanzas (verses). Sorry! There is NO UPPER LIMIT. If you really think you can write an epic along the lines of the Iliad, I say go for it. But the longer the poem, the harder it is to sustain momentum and reader interest. Try for 30, but 20 will do…
6. I’m the judge. Don’t be scared. I can be really sweet.
7. No topic is taboo but deliberately offensive material that is sexist, homophobic, racist, xenophobic and so on will NOT be considered for the prize, and such entries will be deleted from the site. That said, you may wish to write a poem about queer bashing, its impact or its origins, or one about a racist attack and the sad life of the perpetrator of that violence, or a poem about domestic violence… That kind of approach is perfectly acceptable. I’m not the Sugar Plum Fairy, I’m not looking for sweetness and light. Subjects can be unpleasant, it’s up to you. That said, you can write something sweet, that’s okay, but try not to be sentimental. I’m not wanting to read stuff that should be inside a Hallmark greeting card. Avoid cheese. Don’t be afraid of controversy, either, but don’t be controversial for the sake of it. It would show in your poem. Avoid all contrivance.
8. Please, don’t make the end words of every line rhyme. Rhyming is fine in moderation, rhyming doesn’t need to be restricted to ends of lines. No limericks, either. No twee, no corn, no clever-clever. Want to include Latin or really long words nobody is likely to understand? Go ahead, take the risk, I’m all for it. But make sure you understand it yourself, and that the poem overall communicates what you want it to, and in the best possible way. Entries must be predominantly written in English. Sorry, but I’m the one who has to judge and if I can’t read it, you’re basically screwed. But a smattering of other language phrases may well be acceptable.
9. DON’T post your entry to the forums. Not everyone visiting the site will see it if you do.
10. Don’t ask me for any more advice. I’ll get grouchy.
I’ve given you enough hints already. Now let’s see some poetry, people! The winner will be announced as soon as possible after the closing date, and will be contacted by yours truly to obtain his or her postal address. There’s no postage to pay, no cost to the winner at all, and the winner could be from anywhere in the world.
Oh, and I’d like the winner—if it’s not too much to ask—to write a short review of the collection and post it here, or on their own blog, or both, once he or she has their mitts on it. I’d like to see what he or she makes of the poems! Fair enough? I think so.
Get cracking! And feel free to promote the competition on your own sites, in comments sections on blogs across the world, and through social bookmarking networks like Digg. The more people come on board and give this a whirl, the merrier!
The aim of this fun competition isn’t actually to promote myself—it’s about encouraging folks to try their hand at poetry…
A special ‘thank you’ to D for making this competition possible through his generosity, and lush binding skills. I love ya, honey! 
-
Howard
-
Spicy Cauldron
-
Howard
-
MsDemmie
-
Spicy Cauldron
-
Beautifu1
-
MsDemmie
-
Spicy Cauldron
-
Sue
-
Spicy Cauldron
want to get in touch? drop spicy a line using the contact page!
The Spicy Cauldron is Digg proof thanks to caching by WP Super Cache