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Here you will find poetry, opinion and prose mixed together in roughly equal measure. Add one man available from specialist suppliers only. Stick everything into a blender for five minutes. Stir gently with a wooden spoon, then pour slowly into tall glasses with crushed ice.

No cherries. No little parasols. No curly straws. Let the drink speak for itself.

I’m in Gay Boy Heaven right now. I’ve managed to, um, get hold of the pre-release promo remixes of Madonna’s next single, Sorry. It’s been radically re-interpreted by my all-time favourites, the Pet Shop Boys. Moreover, Neil Tennant actually provides all-new backing vocals. There are also some remixes by Saint Ken, Man With Guitar and Jayito but I haven’t got round to listening to those yet. I will, though, and expect to see the song in its various incarnations make a significant impact on my personal Audioscrobbler/last.fm charts next week, when they next update. As with the remixes of Hung [...]

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