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Here you will find poetry, opinion and prose mixed together in roughly equal measure. Add one man available from specialist suppliers only. Stick everything into a blender for five minutes. Stir gently with a wooden spoon, then pour slowly into tall glasses with crushed ice.

No cherries. No little parasols. No curly straws. Let the drink speak for itself.

A German zoo’s plans to tempt its gay penguins to go straight by importing more females has been declared a failure. The female penguins were flown in especially from Sweden in an effort to encourage the Humboldt penguins at the Bremerhaven Zoo to reproduce. However, the six homosexual penguins showed no interest in their new female companions and remained faithful to each other. ‘The relationships were apparently too strong,’ said zoo director Heike Kueck while a keeper confirmed that the male couples had adopted rocks which they were guarding like eggs in their caves. The zoo has said that it [...]

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